I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
