So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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