it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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