my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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