Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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