I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
