You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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