last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
