I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my sisters under your porch take her home
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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