Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and she was petting her beer can
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
