Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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