Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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