I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize