perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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