I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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