We won't sleep together?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
