her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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