she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
