yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
