Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
