If i come over, it means nothing
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize