I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
