you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
