Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
