I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just found a bag of teeth...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
