i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
