A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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