Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
