i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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