i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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