i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
