I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
