my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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