Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
