Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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