would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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