I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
