just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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