so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
