ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
