she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
