I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
You can't special order awesome
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
