my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
