I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
