mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize