So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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