i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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