She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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