I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
