We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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