you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
