Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
