I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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