We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize