yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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