piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
