i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
