He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
