Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
