You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
this must be what syphilis tastes like
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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