I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
